Let me tell you a story...
I’ve been called crazy. I was told I’m not easy to love. For someone who struggles with self-love, these words were like a dagger into my heart. For days, I wallowed in self-pity, loathing myself and questioning my existence. These words resurfaced my deep-seated insecurity. I felt unworthy, not good enough, alone. I felt judged. My mind would work nonstop, going in the deep recesses of my brain I am afraid existed. Wishing for and imagining its end with so much precision and tranquility.
Then God sends me His grace. Slowly, I would remember that indeed life is not all roses. AND, these struggles are just a small bit of my journey. There have been and are so many beautiful, awe-inspiring, and lovely things, people, and experiences in my story… if only I choose to see it.
This blog, The Boho Travels, plays a pivotal role in my life’s journey. It started as a vehicle for catharsis, full of brain dumps and random musings born from rather deep and intellectual conversations I had over coffee, beer, and food, with my introverted friends, and during a period in my life when I needed it most. It was and still is a venue for self-expression and my journey of self-discovery. In the process, it has also become a repository of my travel memories – the beauty and excitement of venturing into a foreign place, the struggles I faced in going out of my comfort zone, and the lessons I’ve learned from my travels within the Philippines, Southeast Asia, and Europe.
I realized that travel is my therapy. Travel expands me. It makes me cross borders. It helps me see what’s beyond what I’ve always believed to be the only truth. It helps me grow. It makes me see the beauty in the littlest of things. It makes me appreciate simplicity. When I travel, I come out of it as a different person – better and stronger. Through traveling, I learned to allow myself to get lost, figure things out along the way, and make things work. It allows me to let go, to trust in the universe, and see again with fresh eyes the beautiful people in it.
When my mind goes astray or when my brain says that I didn’t do anything good, I’m not doing enough, I am not enough, reading my blog reminds me that I need to (time and again) re-learn to love myself. Re-focus. See the beauty of life. See what matters to me. Acknowledge my flaws and also what I have accomplished. Focus on the many beautiful things that God has given me the opportunity to see, hear, taste, feel, do, and experience. Be kind to myself. So, when I need to, I just go back and read my blog again and I am transported back to a happy place.
I was so scared of getting this blog out again in the open. I was and still am scared of being judged, bashed, criticized. But, what pushed me to do it is the realization that I may not be alone. We all have different circumstances and we all deal with them the best way we know how. I have let my fear of being judged come in the way of me acknowledging that, in my life now (and perhaps in yours, too), emotions come in waves. Let us also be kind to ourselves and remind ourselves once in a while that it is okay to not be okay. Let us take one day at a time. And, when we have recharged, we can go back out there and fight this battle. Remember – you are not alone. I get you.
In the next few days, I will share articles I’ve written in the past and have recently updated. I will share pictures I have not shared before. Give you a glimpse of why, where, and how my mind wanders off. My invitation to you is to journey with me through this. Subscribe to my blog, follow me on Instagram or Pinterest. Write. Take a picture. Leave a comment. Send me a message. Share your story. Let’s keep in touch!
Sending you love and good vibes,
Monica
P.S. Let’s connect. In these days and in the coming months, it is important to have a community, however small it is. I am on Instagram (@thebohotravels). Just drop me a line. Talk to you soon!